by Nick Rupcich
Gam-Anon was established as a support group for spouses and other family members to help them deal with the consequences of their problem gambler’s behaviour. It is based on 12 steps that are similar to the steps of Gamblers Anonymous and is a roadmap to personal change and self improvement through the belief in a Higher Power.
It has been observed that it is often more difficult to encourage a partner to attend Gam-Anon than it is to get a gambler to attend Gamblers Anonymous. Partners and family members believe that if the gambler stops his or her gambling behaviour, their own problems will cease. Since the family and the gambler share many of the same feelings (e.g., anger, helplessness, guilt, depression, frustration) and behaviours (e.g., lying, blaming, denying) as the gambler, they need as much assistance as the gambler. It has also been observed that gamblers engaged in the ga program who have a partner involved in Gam-Anon tend to have better recovery and family relationships. The explanation is that through their growth in their respective recovery programs they develop a mutual understanding and acceptance of each other’s strengths and weaknesses as well as better communication skills.
Like Gamblers Anonymous, Gam-Anon has developed its own screening instrument: “Are You Living with a Compulsive Gambler.” This screen consists of 20 questions. Gam-Anon states that you will answer “yes” to at least six of the following questions if you are living with a compulsive gambler. The 20 questions are as follows.
Gam-Anon: List of Recovery Steps
1. We admitted we were powerless over the problem in our family.
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to a normal way of thinking and living. Gam-Anon states that a belief in a Higher Power along with an honest look at themselves will help to resolve their fears, worries and suspicions.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of this power of our own understanding. Step three is the willingness to accept the will of a Higher Power and to let go of self-will. Self-will is said to be at the very root of bitterness, worries and unhappiness among Gam-Anon members.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. This can be a very difficult step since most Gam-Anon members have been blaming the gambler for his or her own shortcomings. Gam-Anon provides a list of personal assets and liabilities to use as a guideline when working on step four.
My Daily Moral Inventory
Liabilities — Watch for Assets — Strive for
Self-pity Self-forgetfulness
Self-justification Humility
Self-importance Modesty
Self-condemnation Self-valuation
Dishonesty Honesty
Impatience Patience
Hate Love
Resentment Forgiveness
False pride Simplicity
Jealousy Trust
Envy Generosity
Laziness Activity
Procrastination Promptness
Insincerity Straightforwardness
Negative thinking Positive thinking
Vulgar, immoral High minded, spiritual
Trashy thinking Clean thinking
Criticizing Look for the good
5. Admitted to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. In this step one seeks out a person who can be trusted to share the information from his or her fourth step inventory. As the person “unloads” his or her past, a feeling of freedom and piece of mind enables him or her to continue growing in recovery.
6. Were entirely ready to have these defects of character removed. Recognizing and owning personal character defects in steps four and five now allow members to bring about positive change. Gam-Anon states that many of their members begin working on self-pity and resentment towards their long-term goal, which is peace of mind.
7. Humbly ask God (of our understanding) to remove our shortcomings. After becoming well aware of one’s shortcoming, help is now required in order to change. Having made a decision to turn one’s will over to a Higher Power in step three, it is time to humbly ask Him to remove one’s shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Step eight asks for a list to be made of all those harmed. Early on it can be difficult to realize how one has harmed so many people. Harsh punishment, misdirected anger and criticizing others can be common reasons for harming family, friends or co-workers.
9. Made direct amends to such people whenever possible except when to do so would injure them or others. Making amends to those harmed is an opportunity to bring about change in the spirit of love, kindness and general well-being. Step nine also states that one should be careful not to hurt anyone in the process of making amends.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. Complacency can lead back to old feelings and behaviours. Step ten asks to reflect on oneself on a daily basis to evaluate one’s own progress or shortcomings. Step ten also requires the person to admit to any wrongdoing immediately. Following this step will lead towards spiritual growth and serenity.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us, and the power to carry that out. This step will open the door to a new and more spiritual way of living. It is suggested to start each day with a prayer or thought of one’s Higher Power to make each day a better day.
12. Having made an effort to practise these principles in all our affairs, we tried to carry this message to others. Having had some measure of success in working through the other steps, it is now time to carry out the main purpose of the Gam-Anon program, which is to help others who are still suffering from the gambling problem in their home.
Reprinted with permission of Gam-Anon iso P.O. Box 570157 Whitestone ny 11357-0157
Phone: (718) 352-1671
Fax: (718) 746-2571
Internet: <www.gam-anon.org>
Starting a gamblers anonymous chapter
How Gamblers Anonymous Groups are Established
A Gamblers Anonymous (ga) group can only be established by individual( s) who have experienced compulsive gambling and who want to help other gamblers. While it requires no special talent, starting a meeting can be a frustrating experience because it is not uncommon to find that the founder(s) will make a weekly commitment only to watch people come and go. Patience and perseverance can be key factors needed to establish a ga group. If the member views the personal commitment as one for helping self rather than others, then the experience can be a gratifying one.
The mechanics of founding a ga group meeting are quite simple. First, interested individuals need to write to the International Service Office for a starter kit, which will tell them how to go about starting a meeting. The next order of business is to secure a comfortable and permanent meeting place. Experience shows that groups should always adhere to the principle of being truly self-supporting. Consequently, it is always recommended that the group makes an arrangement to pay at least a small rental fee. Churches have always been found to be most cooperative in making their facilities available to ga. Other possibilities for meeting places are lodge halls or club rooms. Hospitals and rooms in social clubs are now also available as more people understand compulsive gambling. Whatever facilities are considered, it has been found that four important factors should be taken into consideration:
-
- reasonable rent (probably not more than $10.00 per week and preferably less)
- facilities for serving coffee and refreshment
- meeting room should be available every week on the scheduled meeting night
- freedom to remain at the meeting hall as late as the members wish. It has been noted that an important part of all ga meetings is the after meeting “chat session.”Most ga members like to stay after the meeting for an informal discussion.
Once a decision has been reached to form a ga group, the next major project is to obtain publicity about ga and about the plans for the new group. People in the field of press, radio and television have always been nothing less than 100 per cent cooperative in telling the ga story. Planning an effective local publicity program can be a rewarding and life-saving project for a ga group. If literature is needed to get the word out, the group members should not hesitate to write the International Service Office.
Often the question is asked, should a group advertise? Many groups do, and have found this to be an effective procedure to let the community know of the existence of ga. Such small-space advertising should be designed to let people know how to get in touch with ga locally (Gamblers Anonymous Group Handbook, p. 6).
Help Is Available
A few years ago ga approved Operation Outreach to help remote areas where ga does exist but there is a need for structure and guidance. Following a request and approval procedure, ga will send, at their expense, two ga members, usually trustees from the closest area, to present a one-day workshop on how to start and run a meeting, what pressure relief is, what sponsorship is, what Intergroup is, etc. Operation Outreach has proven to be successful in the Canadian Atlantic Provinces, the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and in the St. Louis, Missouri area. A request for Operation Outreach can be made from anywhere in Canada provided the request comes from a ga member.
Contacts
The International Service Office (ISO) in Los Angeles provides support for all countries with the exception of England and Germany, which have their own service offices. The iso can be contacted at:
P.O. Box 17173 Los Angeles ca 90017
Phone: (213) 386-8789
Fax: (213) 386-0030
E-mail: isomain@gamblersanonymous.org
Web site: www.gamblersanonymous.org
The International Office for Gam-Anon can be contacted at:
Gam-Anon International Service Office Inc. P.O. Box 570157 Whitestone ny 11357-0157
Phone: (718) 352-1671
Fax: (718) 746-2571
References