Problem Gambling Is a Family Problem

Consider including the client’s partner or family in the discussions, or arrange to meet with the family separately. Often family members are more willing to discuss the impact of gambling than the person who gambles. Your assessment of a client’s gambling problem may be based on what a family member tells you.

Many partners are unaware that gambling is a problem until there is a crisis. Clients may not want their partners to know everything that is going on. Try to balance the idea that secrecy enables gambling with the need to build trust and your responsibility to respect confidential information.

Emotions Can Run High

Discussing the family’s situation can be an agonizing experience for the person who gambles and his or her partner. This may be the first time the client has acknowledged the full extent of his or her gambling losses. For his or her partner, there will likely be a resulting loss of trust and high levels of anger and frustration. This can be a challenge for the helping professional.

Take the time to provide information, support and encouragement so that both parties can feel more comfortable seeking counselling. This step can be taken with or without the person who gambles. When a family member seeks help, this often instills hope and clears a path for the person who gambles to take action. Children may also need help understanding that the problems in the family are not their fault. They may need to be encouraged to let go of that sense of responsibility.

Protect the Family Finances

Families may be willing to help by paying off the gambling debts. This approach is risky. With the money pressure off, the client may return to gambling knowing that if they get into trouble someone will bail them out. Helping professionals may encourage families to take steps to protect their assets from further loss with the help of a financial counsellor. The family may also need legal advice to help sort out which debts belong to the family (e.g., co-signed loans) and which belong to the person who gambles. Information on provincial legal services is included in the resource list.

Engaging the Client to Seek Help

When the client’s life has become unmanageable, it may be appropriate for the helping professional to become more active in finding solutions to the client’s problem. The challenge is to balance counsellor assistance with building client control and accountability.

Problem gambling experts have identified a number of counselling principles and best practices that are particularly effective in dealing with gambling problems and can complement your work as a helping professional.

Motivating Client Change

Helping to build motivation to change is an important aspect of counselling. People who gamble struggle with conflicting motivations. They may want to stop gambling, but may not want to give up the hope of the big win. They may still see gambling as a solution to their problems or fear the emptiness of life without it.

Motivational interviewing helps clients to recognize their problems with gambling—and do something about them. Through gentle exploration and presentation of facts, counsellors guide clients to their own conclusions. Motivational principles include:

Express Empathy

A respectful and compassionate approach helps to facilitate openness.

“You must be feeling overwhelmed with all the challenges you are facing. How have you managed for so long?”

Through the interview process, acknowledge the challenges clients are facing and the efforts they have made to resolve their problems. Accept ambivalence towards change as normal.

Help the Client See the Consequences of Gambling

Create a discrepancy between continued gambling and achieving important goals identified by the client, such as getting out of debt or improving family relations and health:

“I don’t understand. You’ve said you want to work on things at home, but you tell me you go out gambling every night.”

Use a non-judgmental tone when pointing out discrepancies. If clients feel attacked or confronted, they may withdraw or become defensive. Try to assume a “not knowing” stance.

Avoid Arguments

Arguments do not help and can lead to defensiveness:

Roll with Resistance

Accept clients’ right to choose:

“You may decide after our discussion that you would rather continue as you are. That is your choice. Should you wish to work on these problems, I am here to help.”

Support Self-Efficacy

• Help clients identify their own solutions.
• Tell clients that you believe that they can change, cope and overcome obstacles without gambling. Point out examples of success.
• Match your intervention to the client’s stage of change (see below).

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